A Love Letter to Zyrtec
Remember the good old days? When Facebook statuses weren’t a variety basket of your racist uncle citing how the news is lying about Trump, those god-awful “gender reveal party” pictures or worst of all: a constant stream of incorrect usage of your/you’re and to/too/two? It was simply “Kelsey is *fill in the blank*.” People complained that it limited the creativity to which they could post, but I’m a firm believer that any intelligent human being who should be posting beyond the standard adjective insertion would be able to identify that you can simply add in a gerund/present participle to fit your posting needs. Just imagine the amount of horrifying Trump supporter commentary we could have saved ourselves from by keeping the little “is” there - assuming that anyone who would be brainwashed enough to vote for such a bigot would also be incapable of thinking past the “is” in the Facebook status. Anyways, I’m dreaming and thinking and it’s apparently been on my mind for a long time.
If the little “is” were still mandatory my current status would be “Kelsey Lindell is covered in Vicks Vapo-Rub” except that’d be a bit of a fib. I’m covered in whatever the natural, organic co-op version of that is because I was in desperate need of healthy soup that I didn’t want to cook on my own and I was not about to make two stops. I think this is technically called some tea-tree oil something or other, and probably has some unicorn urine or the likes of hidden in it for the amount it cost. All I know is my nasal passages are v happy AF and I’ve lost three pounds since applying it three hours ago - 100% through snot.
The one good thing that the Trump election/republican party in general has given us is 63 degree days mid February due to the denial that global warming is happening. While I still don’t quite fathom how anyone can deny scientific/historical facts, I also got to go on a first date on a rooftop of a brewery today without a full shirt on and I’m 0% upset about that. It’s a good thing that whole crop top thing was an option today because my usual bubbly personality was dragging a bit. Our spring surprise has simultaneously smacked me, and allergies have made me their little bitch. I awoke yesterday morning breathing heavier than I do in the Chipotle line due to my inability to breathe through my nostrils and spent the day popping Zyrtec like they’re tic-tacs and I was a 16 year old boy who was going to his girlfriend’s house to “watch a movie.” It was 63 freaking degrees and the change was making my body freak out. I was primarily bound indoors which is the textbook definition of tragic.
I’m a little SAD affected cry baby all winter long. My 5’1” 112 lb frame does not like the cold due to the fact that I cannot keep my body warm no matter how many layers and blankets I grab. I pour Vitamin D3 drops under my tongue at waterfall rates and I’ve legitimately had to start seeing a counselor. And here we have it - 63 in Feb - and I’m a mouth breathing shut-in. Fabulous.
As sick as I was, I had to teach my normal Friday afternoon class. Under normal circumstances, I would have gotten a sub but it was last minute and I want to save my big favor asks for real emergencies - like the next time John Chuck and the Class are playing and I blanked and forgot to pre-schedule a sub. I warned the class beforehand that I was low key dying and everything I had prepped to say had gone right out the window.
You see, there was this cute guy that I knew would be there so I had this perfect class and inspiring “dharma talk” planned. That’s what the mumbo jumbo your yoga teachers spill on you at the beginning and end of the class is called: “dharma talk.” I was nervous as shit (a rarity for me in any instance, but especially in the studio, even more so when I get to show off my abs) and I remember praying while I peed before class and I felt like God raised his eyebrows all “Mmmmm girl” like because I had decided on my own what I was going to say. I usually pray for 10 minutes before I head to the studio for my students, for my class and that everyone would just know for at least 60 minutes of their day/week/month/year that they are loved and they belong but this time I’d gotten so freaking in my own head that I had forgotten to do that. “I’ll be the boss” He said and I’m not one to argue with Him when He does that.
I had everyone in extended child’s pose and out came this divine word vomit about the glorious creation that is Zyrtec. If you’re one of the chosen people who doesn’t suffer from seasonal allergies let me fill you in on an accurate depiction of Zyrtec in spring: the Christ child. I told everyone that seasons of change make us uncomfortable, much like my rudolph nose, and while that blows we need to endure them to get to sweet summer. I believed the words coming out of my mouth, but not as much as I believed them today.
I had to teach two more times this weekend, and in addition to not rocking my chiseled belly on the Lynlake rooftop, I would have missed out on two little 10k runs, a sculpt class, literally running into friends on the street and non-stop sunshine. The very thing I whine about not having (Vitamin D) was all mine, and all I had to do is put the right stuff in my body to prevent it from screwing me over. What do antihistamines do? Pretty simple: they block out histamines, which cause a gross reaction to whatever changes are happening outside your control and I think they create a big metaphor for what we need to do when our lives change. I’m currently processing through big potential changes - they’re scary as shit and if I’m not carefully pumping my insides with the good stuff I’d quickly become bed ridden with allergies to life.
As dreadful as clogged nostrils, scratchy eyes and sore throats are I’d take them any day over life allergies which look more like being paralyzed by fear, an inability to be authentically vulnerable, unbearable sadness, distrust with others, white knuckled and controlling, panic ridden and all around on edge. They’re the awful but natural reactions to what happens when the seasons of life change, so we’ve gotta deal. Because at the end of the day, I love summer more than I know how to articulate and I want the change to happen. I love the feeling of sunshine penetrating my skin, my cute little summer freckles, jumping into lakes, smoothies for every meal and crop tops. My world would be a sad, cold place without summer and I wouldn’t like living in a perpetual winter. I want the change, I want the happy warm life sunshine, so I’ve developed a list of my personal antihistamines that I’m pumping into my heart and soul:
Gratitude statements: every morning I list at least three things aloud and on paper that I’m grateful for. Some days are profound, the hard days are “chipotle, dry shampoo and Fran.” Regardless of what’s happening, our shitty life allergies, and the changes we can’t control, we can control gratitude, which is the only scientifically proven thing to physically change brain patterns in your little cabeza.
Seeing the best in others: in seasons of change it’s especially easy to look at others cynically. I know this first hand because sometimes I’m a secret bitch and I definitely roll my eyes more than my social media presence gives off. But I’m here to tell you (and me) a little secret that we all know but usually forget: almost everyone wants you to win. Most people are rooting for you, very few are not, and if that’s not your story you need to move your little booty to Minneapolis (or wherever I happen to be living by the time you read this) because I will believe in you, I will root for you and so will my friends.
Community: making friends in Minnesota after living in such a tight knit community in Africa was torturous, but I pushed until I found the right gang and I’m legitimately obsessed. Finding people to hang out with has never been hard, but finding people who will both call out the golden nuggets hidden in your soul while simultaneously telling you that you’re being ridiculous for your natural allergic reactions to life, because they know everything will be a-okay, is essential for handling life’s curveballs and season changes.
These are important, but I think the most important thing on the life season changes recovery checklist is this: step outside and breathe. Even if I had done everything on this list, I still would have missed out from something incredibly beautiful if I had let my fear trap me in my house. Yes, there are drugs and things that help us cope, but at the end of the day it’s up to me and you to look at the beauty waiting for us outside and to say “Hey. It may be stuffy, it may be awkward, it may not be perfect, it may hurt, but it’s really beautiful and it’s really worth it.” Then we lace up our Nike’s, put one foot in front of the other. In through the nose, out through the mouth - we carry on walking and breathing and realize that while summer is the dream, the spring changes can be dreamy glimpses of hope in the meantime.