Top Mpls Coffee Shops

I despise the term "coffee-holic" and my loathing intensifies when people refer to themselves as such. It usually involves 22-32 year old women who grew up on Gilmore Girls and decided that they and only they were Lorelei Gilmore.  News Flash: being a coffee addict in America is no greater a fete than being a Minnesotan 22 year old recent college grad living in uptown - it's basically expected. 

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's address the elephant in the room if you've been following me for a while: I used to like Starbucks. Shudder. I know.  Living in Africa taught me to wean myself off the daily cinnamon dolce latte with skim milk, no whip and extra espresso I had grown accustom to and when I came back I was horribly disappointed with the plain black coffee. Not a dan of throwing away $3 everyday on things I don't like, I've become a regular at a few hotspots around the cities. I order my coffee I look the barista in the eyes and tell him "I like my coffee like I like my children: black."  If baristas could somehow figure out how to make coffee have a disability that'd be a more accurate representation of the kind of children I like, but for now I'll stick with black.

So let's start at my house, and take a walk around Minneapolis to all of my favorite places. 

Wesley Andrews: I thought moving in next to Eat Street was dangerous enough with the Copper Hen and Spyhouse around the corner, but then Wesley Andrews opened and I said a teary goodbye to my entire life savings the moment I tried their Northwoods which has freaking fir in it and is served with a toasted marshmallow. I'm all for Christmas drinks that don't make me feel like I need to be wearing UGG boots. Also, on my first stop in they were playing Beatles records and they will forever and always be a guilty pleasure of mine. 

Five Watt: Five Watt genuinely saved my life about 2 years back.  I lived around the corner, was going through a horrible engagement, had a horrible car accident where I nearly died and was in a pit of depression. I was too scared to drive for ages, but I was too fragile to be alone.  Five Watt is filled with down to earth and hilarious baristas. One of the owners, Lee, has become one of my favorite guy friends and we often joke that one day he will become my male bridesmaid. They paved the way in regards to mixing bitters and funky ingredients into your coffee and it's paying off. 

Spyhouse: forever and always, am I right? Heart palpitations, 4 locations and a piece of humble pie when I realize I'll never be as cool as their regulars. 

Penny's: One thing is for sure - Penny's has their social media game down pat. The moment they opened I was flooded with instagram after instagram with their logo which looks strangely similar to my little disfigured arm.  Naturally, I had to go and I also had a tinder date so timing as perfect. The boy wasn't a home run, he ordered tea, but the coffee definitely was. 

Urban Beananother instagram geo-king. White on white on white makes creative writing and creative posts easy and dreamy.  Speaking of dreamy, try their signature Urban Bean cold brew with their house-made vanilla bean syrup.  Usually I'm not one for basic vanilla iced coffee drinks, but this is anything but basic.